Friday, April 3, 2009

Relationship advice & Life Advice. Core element to happiness: Confidence

When you are happy you are successful, in life, in your relationship. If you are having problems in your relationship or life in general, there are key elements that are sort of 'core values' for us to attain a content, balanced life. Confidence and being confident is a core element. Therefore, confidence not only makes your life better but you will have more success in life and your relationship. If you are having specific problems that need live guidance from someone who is there to help 24/7 check out

How do you perceive yourself? Do you give yourself credit where due? Do you think you deserve to be happy? Do you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin? Are you confident in yourself?

To question ourselves about our performance at work, school or appearance or attitude is natural. It's a checks and balances to make sure we are doing the right thing. But when we always feel insecure about our judgement or ourselves, physically, emotionally, and feel insecure, this can lead to being unhappy. When you are unhappy you may make bad calls of judgement, become depressed, avoiding people and situations which will all lead to never finding what you want in life. So how do you gain confidence to attain happiness and balance?

Gaining confidence is very difficult. The older you get, the more you get stuck in the rut of lacking confidence if you are not proactive or aware of your actions that feed your lack of confidence. Not getting out or facing the things that make you feel like 'less than' someone else will just perpetuate unless you do something about it.

You need to start with positive thinking. Start giving yourself credit for all the accomplishments you have achieved. What are you good at? Focus on that. How does it make you feel to do what makes you feel good? Do you play an instrument or care for animals really well? Is there something you do that gives you pleasure, as simple as your job or in your personal life? Give yourself a pat on the back. Give yourself credit.

Next, never compare yourself to anyone. Again, this is difficult because we live in a society of competition. Rather, look at your great qualities. If your friends were to describe your best attributes, what would they say? You are loyal, beautiful and caring? Take these elements and keep them at the front of your mind at all times. Know that you are a loyal, beautiful, caring person. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It only matters what the people you care about and you think about yourself. Don't compare the fact that you don't look, act or do what everyone else is doing. You are not them. You are you. You are an individual. Be secure with that. Know that you are special.

Don't be so hard on yourself to try to make everyone happy. You will never please everyone. Try your best. Listen to your inner self. Do you feel good about what you are doing? If you feel like you are letting people down because you can never live up to their standards? Then you surely will feel insecure. Always remember, it's not what they think, if you did your best, honestly and truly, then they can go take a hike. Don't let someone make you feel insecure. Do your personal best and walk away with your head high.

Don't take on tasks that are way out of your league. Don't misunderstand me, challenges are good and help us to improve ourselves, but don't walk up to a super model un showered, in sweats and a ripped tee and ask her on a date ... be reasonable about the challenges your set before yourself. If you have a lack of confidence before asking a girl out - or guy - make sure you look and feel your best. Approach them with a smile. Look them in the eye and ask them out. If you have a lack of confidence, then doing this in itself is difficult, however, you must do the things to build your confidence in which you are scared of. What is the worst that could happen...they say no? Big deal. The trick to this is not taking it too personally. There may be many reasons why they say no, but do not let this define you and make you feel 'less than' and strip you of your confidence. Just say top yourself .. NEXT! And move forward.

Approach all your tasks with an 'I can do this' attitude. If you fail, no big deal. You know it's not for you. Look at the qualities about yourself that make you a great person. Cherish those qualities and give yourself credit. This will build your confidence.

When you are sure of yourself you can take on bigger goals and go the distance. If you lack that confidence you may quit halfway through and then end up in that vicious cycle of 'I can't do anything right'. Again, strengthen your confidence, build it up. Don't engage in thoughts or behaviors that break you down. Stay positive.

Confidence leads to success. Believe in yourself. Hang around people that make you feel good. Get involved in activities that make you feel good. Small achievements add up! This all gets your confidence up.

So how does this all translate to having a happy healthy relationship? Confidence leads to security in your relationship. This is key to success in your relationship! If you have confidence in yourself, you know you are everything your significant other needs to fill all their desires. All of the unfounded, negative thoughts that arise from insecurity, like 'are they cheating on me' 'do they love me' etc. will not be part of your thought process if you are secure and confident.

You can call someone live at to discuss your specific issue and get guidance tailored for you.

Smile. Chin up and keep moving forward!