We all have experienced disappointment. Tips to help cope with and avoid it.

Everyone has been disappointed by a person or an event at one time in their life or another. You can call me to talk about a situation you need help finding 'the light' in at http://www.heart2heartlive.com/ How to deal with and perhaps avoid disappointment is not easy. Here are some tips.

It may be something someone does, or doesn't do, says or an event may not go the way you planned. Sometimes it's really no big deal and you can brush it of your shoulder. But for those times when you really get let down, like 'the world will end' type of let down how do you cope? If the person or event that has disappointed you was done by accident, mistake or lack of knowledge and not out of malice or it was their intention to set out and make you upset by letting you down, then you have to know how to handle a person or situation when it was not intentional but you got disappointed anyway. Therefore, it starts with YOU.

Here are a few things to remember. You are allowed to get upset, mad or cry. If your expectations are reasonable, it's is only natural to get hurt. After all, if we didn't set goals or aspirations for a person or event, by what caliber do we judge if something is successful or fulfilling? So to set our expectations at a reasonable level with goals in mind with your 'high' expectation and 'low' expectation of what you feel would be acceptable for you to be happy with, ahead of time, is key in handling a potential disappointment.

Don't set your goals too high. Remember, be reasonable. Don't think because you have an event everyone will show up, act like you want them to act, dress 'appropriately' or say what you want them say. For example, you may have a big birthday or gathering planned. You have worked hard at getting everything perfect... the food, the place, the decor, etc. You invite lots of people and as you are planning, you may start imagining how you want everything to be. When the day arrives, some people don't show up, some people are not dressed in the proper attire, some people lack social etiquette and heck, a fight may even break out! Don't let these things stress you or ruin YOUR good time. Anticipation from the beginning that many scenarios may take place and how to handle them is very important with your personal 'damage control' of a situation. Get over it, and get over it quick. Tell yourself 'this is not going to ruin my day'. It really sounds like 'yea that will work...' but trust me, if you don't move forward, as they say 'the show must go on', then it will just fester and turn the whole event bad. DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF!

It is after all YOUR event in which you put a lot of work into! However, try to remember, sometimes, people have last minute things that happen to them that prohibit them from coming. When some of your closest friends or family ditch you at the last minute for something they couldn't control, don't turn inward. Don't get mad at them for 'ruining your day'. If they could not come for some reason it is not about you. Try to understand if it were you, you wouldn't want them to be mad at you for not coming because of an issue you could not control. But what IS about you, is the rest of the people who will be there and going on with the event. Sure, you are disappointed, but don't bring that into the happy occasion which is what everyone came together for in the first place. Move forward! Don't dwell on it. Spending the time with the rest of the people there will make you forget about who couldn't make it as long as you allow yourself to have a great time.

How do you deal with being disappointed in an individual? You must remember, an individual person can be the biggest variable. Anything can happen to someone at any time due to a physical resaon, emotional or financial reason to name a few. Typically you set your expectations around what you know about someone. You know who you can go to for watching your kids or your pets and who definitely NOT to go to as well ... Right? LOL! Really evaluate what you are asking of someone and their personal threshold for being dependable or reliable for that task. You cannot expect someone to do something as you ask, exactly as you would do it. You must allow for leeway. People are not perfect and no one will do something as you would. As long as you keep this in mind: Are they acting in good will? Are they using sound judgement? Do they have the experience necessary? If someone has done their best, and it may be a FAR CRY from what you would have done, you cannot get disappointed with THEM. You can FEEL disappointed with their actions and explain what you would have done or what the 'generally accepted correct way' to do something is, but you can't hold it over their head.

Don't feel sorry for yourself or allow yourself to get depressed when you get let down by someone... chances are it is not a 'personal attack' on you. For whatever the reason someone disappointed you or they didn't live up to your expectations, you need to evaluate your reason for getting disappointed. Try not to let a bad day coupled with this person getting you down, allows you take it out on them or blame them. Other events in our lives sometimes make us feel more sensitive to getting hurt or let down by someone.

Remember, no one is obligated to make you happy. You have to create your own happiness. It starts with the decisions you make and paths you choose. Do not be selfish. Do not expect other people to be responsible for your well being. Once you have taken that responsibility, which that person never knew they had anyway, you will be less likely to be let down.

When we are disappointed, at that very moment, it's not so easy to smile, and say 'OK. Whatever. I won't let this get me down'.But you must, so you can move forward and allow another door to open to allow positive energy to flow in.

If you have a situation that you can't get past, find it hard to cope, or think reasonably about because you are so close to the situation and you need someone to talk to, you can call me on http://www.heart2heartlive.com/. I can help you to feel better and move on. When our heart is affected, we don't think or see clearly. Let me help you navigate a crummy situation that got you down. You need to be happy...and you can be!!! Many blessings!

Relationship advice & Life Advice. Core element to happiness: Confidence

When you are happy you are successful, in life, in your relationship. If you are having problems in your relationship or life in general, there are key elements that are sort of 'core values' for us to attain a content, balanced life. Confidence and being confident is a core element. Therefore, confidence not only makes your life better but you will have more success in life and your relationship. If you are having specific problems that need live guidance from someone who is there to help 24/7 check out http://www.heart2heartlive.com/

How do you perceive yourself? Do you give yourself credit where due? Do you think you deserve to be happy? Do you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin? Are you confident in yourself?

To question ourselves about our performance at work, school or appearance or attitude is natural. It's a checks and balances to make sure we are doing the right thing. But when we always feel insecure about our judgement or ourselves, physically, emotionally, and feel insecure, this can lead to being unhappy. When you are unhappy you may make bad calls of judgement, become depressed, avoiding people and situations which will all lead to never finding what you want in life. So how do you gain confidence to attain happiness and balance?

Gaining confidence is very difficult. The older you get, the more you get stuck in the rut of lacking confidence if you are not proactive or aware of your actions that feed your lack of confidence. Not getting out or facing the things that make you feel like 'less than' someone else will just perpetuate unless you do something about it.

You need to start with positive thinking. Start giving yourself credit for all the accomplishments you have achieved. What are you good at? Focus on that. How does it make you feel to do what makes you feel good? Do you play an instrument or care for animals really well? Is there something you do that gives you pleasure, as simple as your job or in your personal life? Give yourself a pat on the back. Give yourself credit.

Next, never compare yourself to anyone. Again, this is difficult because we live in a society of competition. Rather, look at your great qualities. If your friends were to describe your best attributes, what would they say? You are loyal, beautiful and caring? Take these elements and keep them at the front of your mind at all times. Know that you are a loyal, beautiful, caring person. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It only matters what the people you care about and you think about yourself. Don't compare the fact that you don't look, act or do what everyone else is doing. You are not them. You are you. You are an individual. Be secure with that. Know that you are special.

Don't be so hard on yourself to try to make everyone happy. You will never please everyone. Try your best. Listen to your inner self. Do you feel good about what you are doing? If you feel like you are letting people down because you can never live up to their standards? Then you surely will feel insecure. Always remember, it's not what they think, if you did your best, honestly and truly, then they can go take a hike. Don't let someone make you feel insecure. Do your personal best and walk away with your head high.

Don't take on tasks that are way out of your league. Don't misunderstand me, challenges are good and help us to improve ourselves, but don't walk up to a super model un showered, in sweats and a ripped tee and ask her on a date ... be reasonable about the challenges your set before yourself. If you have a lack of confidence before asking a girl out - or guy - make sure you look and feel your best. Approach them with a smile. Look them in the eye and ask them out. If you have a lack of confidence, then doing this in itself is difficult, however, you must do the things to build your confidence in which you are scared of. What is the worst that could happen...they say no? Big deal. The trick to this is not taking it too personally. There may be many reasons why they say no, but do not let this define you and make you feel 'less than' and strip you of your confidence. Just say top yourself .. NEXT! And move forward.

Approach all your tasks with an 'I can do this' attitude. If you fail, no big deal. You know it's not for you. Look at the qualities about yourself that make you a great person. Cherish those qualities and give yourself credit. This will build your confidence.

When you are sure of yourself you can take on bigger goals and go the distance. If you lack that confidence you may quit halfway through and then end up in that vicious cycle of 'I can't do anything right'. Again, strengthen your confidence, build it up. Don't engage in thoughts or behaviors that break you down. Stay positive.

Confidence leads to success. Believe in yourself. Hang around people that make you feel good. Get involved in activities that make you feel good. Small achievements add up! This all gets your confidence up.

So how does this all translate to having a happy healthy relationship? Confidence leads to security in your relationship. This is key to success in your relationship! If you have confidence in yourself, you know you are everything your significant other needs to fill all their desires. All of the unfounded, negative thoughts that arise from insecurity, like 'are they cheating on me' 'do they love me' etc. will not be part of your thought process if you are secure and confident.

You can call someone live at Heart2HeartLive.com to discuss your specific issue and get guidance tailored for you. http://www.heart2heartlive.com/

Smile. Chin up and keep moving forward!

Is it time to walk away?

Relationships can be really, really tough sometimes. Your relationship should be a healthy source of happiness and your partner should be one that you draw strength from...not one that breaks you down.

Ok … we don’t live in a perfect world, but shouldn’t you be happy in your relationship? Are you in a loving relationship or is there jealously and betrayal? What makes your relationship tick? Is it that you and your partner both have the same visions and they bring you closer together? Is it that the two of you see things differently, but that brings you together because with different perspectives and open minds you can create something new all together?

Or do you constantly fight and disagree? Do you not see eye to eye on major issues? When do you say: ‘I think it’s time to walk away.’

Abusive relationships don’t always mean physical. We can be wrapped up in a mentally abusive relationship too. Or emotionally abusive … At what point do you say this is worth working on or this is too much to bear? Every relationship regardless if one person loves the other may or may not work because of the mechanics of the relationship.

Let’s talk about why you may be considering calling it quits. Let’s break down key issues and talk about them, you may not have to break up. Call an advisor for live advice any time of the day or night http://www.heart2heartlive.com/ Live advice from the heart. Ask one of our psychics too! Hand selected psychics with proven real psychic ability are available at Heart2HeartLive.com too.

Happiness, Your Relationship & Perspective

Let talk about Perspective. http://www.heart2heartlive.com/

What is perspective? According to the online Cambridge Dictionary: Perspective is
a particular way of viewing things that depends on one's experience and personality
Perspective also means the ability to consider things in relation to one another accurately and fairly: With more maturity and experience, you will gradually acquire perspective.If something is in perspective, it is considered as part of a complete situation so that you have an accurate and fair understanding of it: Putting the past in perspective is an enormous task.

When we sometimes seek happiness we sometimes have a skewed version of reality. As you may know by now, I like quoting old adages … Well, they say ‘the grass is not always greener on the other side’ right? Right.

From the outside looking in, it’s your perspective that forms a ‘reality’ around a situation. For example, you are having problems in your relationship. Why? Are you creating issues to cause chaos for yourself? Are you sabotaging your relationship on purpose? Maybe in fact your relationship should be over. Relationships sometimes do end. But is this YOUR case? Or are you secretly wishing things could be better and you are getting into arguments to cause some sort of reaction by ‘stirring up the pot.’ But why?

Do you look at other couples and think others may have the perfect life? Do you think that everyone else who is in a committed relationship is happy all the time? Does this make you angry or make you seek ways to sabotage what you have? This is where perspective comes in.

Step back and ask yourself why did you fall in love with this person in the first place? Have you arrived at a time in your relationship that outside stresses influence the relationship? Is it breaking your relationship down? Did you once feel like you could spend the rest of your life with this person and now you are not sure? Lots of questions … and you need to ask these things to yourself one by one. Only you know. Getting advice helps: Betterworld

But it is up to you if you want to fix what’s broken and move forward or figure out if it’s just not worth it. The key is putting the REAL situation in perspective. Don’t let anyone influence you. It’s up to you once you stand back and take a good hard look at the facts and what you feel is best for your happiness. Visit me at http://www.heart2heartlive.com/

Smile now. You will feel better. Later, talk about it and try to start resolving the issue.

I really get upset when I see people sad. It bothers me. If I could make people feel better and smile, my work would be done! I give advice on Heart2HeartLive.com through the Keen Ingenio network. I feel good when people feel better at the end of a conversation because when they called they were not in a good place. These people who contact me are taking responsibility for their happiness. Something is bothering them and they know they need to speak to someone about it. I commend these people who seek help and utilize the services of the advisors on Keen.
Everyday we go through our lives with our own issues and problems. We wish for things to get better but sometimes never really hold ourselves accountable for our own unhappiness. We are always complaining about the same issues over and over to the same people. 'My relationship sucks' 'My job sucks' 'I can't get a date' etc.
Each time we mention how unhappy we are it's like you are giving power to that negativity. When you command attention to something it takes the energy - good or bad - for what you have just given it away for and becomes stronger. So if you are giving energy to a negative feeling you will continue to be unhappy. Just like you are 'feeding' the negative energy...
Remember the old saying 'If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all'? This comment is usually made when we comment negatively about or to someone else. Have you stopped to say to yourself, 'if you have nothing to say don't say anything?' Probably not. You should.
When we have a problem or issue try to resolve it. Don't give all your attention to a negative emotion or toxic situation. Take time out and deal with it. Talk to someone. But throughout your day...stop...smile...and concentrate on positive things.
How do you envision your life? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to feel bliss and joy? How will this be achieved if you carry your burden of problems with you all around and give them attention all the time?
Remember the other old saying... 'Misery loves company?' This is true when someone is miserable and wants to make you equally as unhappy as they are. Do you want to make others miserable or do you want to be happy? You make a choice every time you smile.
Just smile and hold your head high. Work on where you want to be ... what path or course you want your life to take. You have the power... you give attention to the positive or negative issues in your life. It's your choice. But there is a time and place for everything.
Like an actor; we see what act they put on. Well, if you have a situation you are going through, and you call attention to it all the time and that's all that will ever be seen.
Pick and choose when you want to give attention to a problem. When you decide you need to talk to someone, get into it. Address it and get to the root of the problem. Open up be honest so you can plan your course to resolve it. Otherwise, if you are not truly going to change or fix the actions you take, you will keep repeating your current situation over and over.
So, stop and smile. When you want to complain about your problems, stop and ask yourself 'will this fix my problem?' If it won't, then it is not the time to give that negative energy any attention until you are ready to tackle it head on and do something about it.
And in case you didn't know, when you smile and someone smiles back, you WILL start to feel better. It is like medicine. Smiles do help to cure you. So if you were about to feel 'blue' smile and the person who smiles back at you has just started to help you by giving attention to positive energy! This will help you to cope and get through your problem until you are able to address it and take steps to fix it, cope or heal.
You can call me or someone else on Heart2HeartLive.com We are here to help.