Friday, March 13, 2009

So now that you have decided to get advice ... What do you do?


Congratulations! You have made a wise decision to get advice and from whom you will consult. So now what do you do? Get live advice.

Some things to remember:

First: You must be open and honest. The only way you are going to get advice you can use, is to address the real issues. Put everything aside. Peel back the layers. Do not be embarrassed. Talk about the details and include how you feel in relation to the issue and what the situation is causing for you in your life. How does your issue really affect your life? Be clear and honest. This is the only way someone who is willing to help give you a clear path as to what you need to do to get through your problem.

Second: Do not be defensive. If you are getting advice for anything, don’t be defensive. The key to getting great advice is that the advisor understands the details. He or she may ask a lot of questions so they can draw sound conclusions for you and really help you. State the facts and get into your emotions. When getting advice, it is sometimes a ‘knee jerk’ reaction to defend ourselves. You can state why you did what you did that put you in a situation and ‘defend’ your actions, but don’t be ‘defensive’. If someone is trying to give you advice and you make it hard for them, you may likely push them away where they don’t want to work with you and help you because you will come across as ‘complaining’ instead of seeking their advice to be proactive and to really help yourself. Remember, they want to HELP you.

Third: When getting advice, make sure you have an open mind. Be willing to consider options and suggestions. Remember, you may be in the situation you are in because of your typical patterns and behaviors. Only you can change them. If you are going to let some skeletons out of your closet, you might as well put the advice you receive into motion.

Fourth: When getting advice, sometimes we feel worse before we feel better. Just like the old saying goes ‘the truth hurts’. Well this is it! You have now laid your cards on the table. If you have consulted a person who genuinely cares for your well being and wants to see you recover from a situation, they may give you advice you don’t want to hear. But, again, this is because it is something you may not want to face, but it may be in your best interest to follow.

Fifth: Digest and give advice time. You don’t need to act right away in most cases. Have patience and let the advice settle in. See how you can work it into your situation where it can benefit you.

In the end, you needed help with something. You were brave enough to talk to someone who you can trust and is knowledgeable. Use that information for your benefit. Make sure you are comfortable with what they have told you and you feel you can put the advice into play.

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t act on it. Trust your gut and use your head. After all, you know what’s best for you and what you need to do for yourself to be happy.

TALK NOW to someone who cares.